If Only She Stayed
by NeeNee
Summary: My outtake on what would have happened if between Mark and Susan if Susan would have never left Chicago. Has some good Doug and Carol stuff too :)
1. Saying Goodbye

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own any of these characters. This is just fiction.  
  
Summary: My outtake on what should have happened if Susan would never have left.  
  
Mark and Susan are standing outside at Union Station. She is about to go to Phoenix. But Mark doesn't want her to go he wants her to stay.  
  
"You came to tell me goodbye?"  
  
"No," he replies firmly. "Stay." "I love you," he finally admits, "And I'm stupid for not saying it before."  
  
Susan's smile vanishes. "It's okay... In a way, I knew." She tells him that he's her best friend, and that she's... "sorry". Her life is headed in a different direction now.  
  
Mark is speechless. They stare at each other and just before the train leaves, they share an passionate, romantic kiss. Susan quickly says, "I'll never forget you," and ducks in as the train moves away.  
  
A few yards down the track, Susan's head reappears outside the window. "I do love you!"  
  
"What?" says Mark.  
  
"I love you!" she repeats. "Bye!"  
  
Mark slowly raises his hand to wave as the train pulls completely away. His face falls. He stares at the ground for a minute. Then he walks away. He heads to his new home. Where Susan used to live. Did he do the right thing by taking her apartment? Every time he walks in the door memories of Susan will be flooded. Memories of the love he had just lost and let slip away forever. He'd always loved Susan, but for awhile there was Jen. Then, he just felt too stupid to tell Susan he loved her. He didn't want to ruin their friendship. But Doug had convinced him to tell her before she left. He was glad he did, but wished the outcome would have been different. He wished she'd have burst into tears and stayed. His life had kind of sucked lately. He'd lost Jen, been beaten in the bathroom by some punk and now he'd lost Susan. "There's no one left that would miss me if I was gone," Mark thought to himself. "Well except for Rachel, but she has her mom, it's not like she'd be all alone. With Susan gone now, he'd lost all hope. He decided he was gonna end it all tonight. Someone would eventually find him. He stopped at a liquor store and bought a bottle of vodka. "I'll take some Demerol with it, I still have some left from when I got beat up." He thought to himself. He arrives at the apartment. Sets the bottle on the table and begins to search for the Demerol. When he finds it he sets the bottle and the pills on the coffee table and sits on the couch staring at it, wondering if can really go through with it. He picks up the Demerol and starts to twist off the lid. Suddenly, he hears someone twisting the doorknob. The door opens. Mark looks up.  
  
"Susan?!?!?!"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED. 


	2. The Return

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own any of these characters. This is just fiction.  
  
Summary: My outtake on what should have happened if Susan would never have left.  
  
Last time on ER. Flashes to Susan, head hanging out of train. "I love you, Bye!" She shouts to Mark. Flashes to Mark staring at ground and then walking away. Flashes to Mark purchasing a bottle of vodka.  
  
Flashes to Mark sitting on his couch unscrewing a bottle of Demerol, a bottle of vodka on the coffee table. Flashes to door knob rattling and Mark looking up."Susan?!?!".  
  
"Hello Mark, what were you doing."  
  
"Uhhhh I was just uhm."  
  
Susan approaches where Mark is sitting. She sits down next to him. "Uhm Demerol and vodka??"  
  
"Yeah uhm I wasn't gonna take it."  
  
"Sure you weren't."  
  
"I wasn't. I thought about it but I just couldn't do it. Something inside me told me I shouldn't."  
  
"No," Susan laughs, "that was me."  
  
Mark laughs. "What are you doing here anyway? I thought you'd be halfway to Phoenix by now."  
  
"Yeah well, I got to the next station and took the next train back to Chicago. I realized en route that you were what really mattered to me. Mark, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for the longest time, for as long as I can remember. Even when you were married to Jen, secretly, I wished it was me. I wanted to be the one you went home to every night. I wanted to be the one you kissed goodnight."  
  
"It's not too late." Mark faces Susan. He cups her face in his hands. Then he kisses her softly. His hands move to the back of her head, ruffling her hair. She puts her arms around his neck and pulls of his sweater. There's a knock at the door.  
  
"Erhm who is it?" says Mark, muffled through the kisses.  
  
"It's Doug. I was concerned about you. I know Susan got on the train. I wanted to see if you were okay."  
  
"Yeah I'm :kisses: fine"  
  
Susan giggles loudly.  
  
"Is someone in there with you Mark?"  
  
"Uhm :kisses: no :kisses: why?"  
  
"Come on Mark let me in."  
  
"Oh let him in Mark, we might as well tell him. If I'm gonna stay here, I mean stay in Chicago and we're gonna fall madly in love, get married and have lots of kids.  
  
"Wait.I didn't say anything about kids." Mark grins.  
  
"Then we may as well tell him now."  
  
"Come on Mark let me in dammit. What's going on?"  
  
Mark and Susan's lips part. Mark puts his sweater back on. Susan is sitting there with ruffled hair and smeared lipstick. Her lipstick is also smeared on Mark's lips. Mark opens the door.  
  
"Well it's about time," says Doug. He notices the smeared lipstick but does not yet see Susan. "Mmm sorry, busy night?" pointing to his lips. Indicating that Mark has something on his lips.  
  
"Yeah..well." Mark stammers, wiping lipstick from his face.  
  
Susan turns around and faces Doug. "Hey Doug, what's up?"  
  
"What's up? Uhm hi. I thought you were on your way to Phoenix?"  
  
"Yeah, well I was. But I got to my next station and I just couldn't get on the final train. I'm in love with Mark. He's in love with me. We belong together. So, I got back on a train to Chicago and Mark and I have been.well."  
  
"Yes well I noticed that." Doug grins his famous Doug grin. "We'll I let you two lovebirds be and go annoy Carol for awhile. I'm sure she'll be pleased." He grins again. "Goodnighttt Mark." Nods in Susan's direction. "Susan, goodnight, welcome back."  
  
Susan grins, "Thanks."  
  
Doug sees himself out. Mark turns around to face his best friend, Susan. "So where were we?"  
  
Please R and R  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED. 


	3. Together at Last

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own any of these characters. This is just fiction.  
  
Summary: My outtake on what should have happened if Susan would never have left.  
  
Last time on ER. Flashes to Susan standing in the doorway Flashes to her sitting on the couch Flashes to Mark and Susan making out Flashes to Doug, "Welcome back, Susan" Susan: "Thanks" Flashes to Mark, "Where we were"  
  
The next day Susan walks into the ER. Mark is already there. She walks up to him, slips her arm around his waist and kisses him, first on the cheek, then on the lips. "Hi sweetie." Haleh, who is standing there, looks up, "SUSAN?!?!" I thought you left."  
  
"I did. But I couldn't do it because Mark and I are in love." She smiles.  
  
"Well it's about time honey," says Haleh hugging Susan, "Congratulations. You too Mark."  
  
Susan is greeted throughout the day with surprised faces. The word is spread that Susan and Mark are FINALLY an official item. "I was wondering how long it was going to take you two to finally realize you were sole mates," says Carter to Mark, "everyone else already knew it, we were just waiting on you guys. I'm glad you guys finally realized it too."  
  
It's a slow day that day in the ER. Susan and Mark are both in the lounge working on some paperwork, chatting a little while they work. Carol runs in, "I need both of you in the ambulance bay, multi trauma coming in, 4 car pile up. Several kids involved."  
  
Mark and Susan drop what they are doing and run out into the ambulance bay. She finds the whole ER gang in the ambulance bay. Doug shakes a bottle of champagne, aims it at Mark and Susan and pops it open. Champagne sprays all over them!  
  
"This is a celebration, of two soul mates who finally realized they aren't just best friends. May your romance never end." Doug pours a little bit of what's left of the champagne into some glasses and hands them out. He raises one glass. "Here's to two of my best friends for finally finding romance."  
  
"I'll drink to that," says Mark. Everyone raises their glasses. Mark and Susan who are holding hands, kiss."  
  
"Okay now everyone back to work," says Weaver. The crew scowls. Doug pours some champagne on her head. Everyone laughs.  
  
"Doug." says Weaver.  
  
"What?! Oh come on.that was funny."  
  
"Just get back to work."  
  
"Oh alright." Doug walks behind Weaver, sticking out his tongue. Weaver who apparently saw him says, "Grow up Doug."  
  
"NEVER!"  
  
The day ends. Mark and Susan leave the ER hand in hand. Doug and Carol are watching them leave.  
  
"They are so cute together. I'm so glad she came back. They belong together," says Carol.  
  
"I know," says Doug. "Just like us. Hey catch up with them real quick, we're off in 2 hours. Maybe we can double with them, meet them somewhere."  
  
"Okay." Carol runs and catches up with Mark and Susan. "Hey guys, Doug was wondering if you guys wanna double with us later. We're off at 8. We could all do something?"  
  
Mark and Susan exchange glances. Susan nods. "Yeah okay sure! Meet us at Harry's Lounge (just making up something) when your off."  
  
"Okay," says Carol, "we'll see you later then!" She walks back to Doug, "Harry's lounge, after work."  
  
"It's a date," Doug kisses Carol. "I better get back to work before Weaver fires me," chuckles.  
  
It picks up a little. One GSW and a car accident. Both pretty minor. It's finally 8:00 and Doug and Carol are just walking out when Kerry walks up. "Doug, can you do a consult?"  
  
"Sorry Kerry," Me and my honey are off. We gotta go meet Mark and Susan. I'll have to catch you later."  
  
Kerry scowls and limps off. Doug and Carol arrive at Harry's bar. Mark and Susan are making out. "Ahem," Doug clears his throat. Mark and Susan ignore him and continue kissing. "We can do that too." Carol and Doug start making out. Mark and Susan stop and are watching Doug and Carol. "Ahem." Mark clears his throat. Doug and Carol stop.  
  
"Now that my friend" remarks Doug, "is called courtesy." He chuckles. "I'm just giving you a hard time. I'm really glad to see you guys together like this. Gives us fresh gossip." Chuckles.  
  
The four enjoy a night out, some drinks, some laughs and some smooching.  
  
A few days pass, then a few weeks, then a couple of months. It's now been exactly 4 months since Susan came back and her and Mark became an item officially. Susan is standing at the front desk. Head resting on hands looking tired. Mark walks up, quick kiss. "Rough day?"  
  
"No, I'm kinda tired."  
  
"Well, don't wimp out on me. It's our four-month anniversary. I have something very special planned."  
  
"I know. And I can't wait. Two hours and 47 minutes to go!" Susan smiles.  
  
Chuni walks up. "Sorry to interrupt guys but Mark your needed in Curtain Two."  
  
"Alright, later baby," he says to Susan.  
  
That evening after work Mark and Susan are at Antonio's, a very nice Italian restaurant. They are sitting across from each other. Both of them have their hands on the table, intertwined with one another's, gazing into each other's eyes. "I love you Susan."  
  
"I love you too Mark."  
  
Mark lets go of Susan's hands and reaches in his coat pocket. He takes out a small box and opens it. Susan gasps...  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	4. Definitely Yes

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own any of these characters. This is just fiction.  
  
Summary: My outtake on what should have happened if Susan would never have left.  
  
Last time on ER. "SUSAN?!?!" I thought you left." "I did. But I couldn't do it because Mark and I are in love." She smiles.  
  
"Well it's about time honey," says Haleh hugging Susan, "Congratulations. You too Mark."  
  
Doug shakes a bottle of champagne, aims it at Mark and Susan and pops it open. Champagne sprays all over them! "This is a celebration, of two soul mates who finally realized they aren't just best friends. May your romance never end." Doug pours a little bit of what's left of the champagne into some glasses and hands them out. He raises one glass. "Here's to two of my best friends for finally finding romance."  
  
"I'll drink to that," says Mark. Everyone raises their glasses. Mark and Susan who are holding hands, kiss." Mark and Susan are at Antonio's, a very nice Italian restaurant. They are sitting across from each other. Both of them have their hands on the table, intertwined with one another's, gazing into each other's eyes. "I love you Susan."  
  
"I love you too Mark."  
  
Mark lets go of Susan's hands and reaches in his coat pocket. He takes out a small box and opens it. Susan gasps.......  
  
Inside of the box is a huge sparkling diamond ring. Mark looks at Susan. "Susan, I love you. I loved you for a very long time. You've seen me through so many hard times and we've had a lot of good times. You've rescued me from bad blind dates, helped me through my divorce with Jen and been the best friend that I could ever have. I don't know what I'd do without you. And.I don't know what I would do the rest of my life if you weren't in it. Susan, I have no doubts. You're my soul mate. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?"  
  
Susan puts her hand over her mouth. Tears are coming from her eyes. "Yes! Definitely Yes! Mark, I love you so much and I couldn't imagine anything else better than being your wife. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, my soul mate." Susan leans in and her and Mark kiss. Mark slips the ring over Susan's finger. Susan grins and puts her hand out in front of her palm down. "It's so beautiful Mark."  
  
"Not as beautiful as you are."  
  
Susan blushes and looks down at her hand again. "I love you!"  
  
"I love you too!"  
  
The next morning the alarm goes off at Susan and Mark's apartment they'd been sharing. Since Susan hadn't left and Mark had taken over the apartment when they thought she'd be leaving they decided to just go ahead and share it. Susan rolled over and slapped the alarm clock off and groaned. "Ugh," she thought to herself, "time for work already?" She then remembered that her and Mark had gotten engaged last night. "Unless".she thought, "that wasn't a dream was it?" She looked down her hand and saw the ring shimmering. She smiled. "Thank God, it wasn't just a dream.  
  
Just then Mark knocked on her door. "Come in," said Susan.  
  
Mark enters the room with a robe wrapped around him and two trays in his hand. "Get back in bed," says Mark. "I brought us breakfast in bed." Susan smiles and climbs back in bed. Mark lies down next to her, hands her a tray and then keeps the other tray for himself. "So how's my fiancée doing this morning?" asks Mark.  
  
"Mmm that sounds sooo good! I'm the future Mrs. Susan Greene. Man! I can't wait!" They kiss.  
  
A few hours later Mark and Susan arrive at work together hand in hand. Doug and Carol are standing at the counter looking over some charts when they notice that Mark and Susan have just entered. "And how is County's best couple today," asks Doug?  
  
"I thought we were County's best couple," whispered Carol.  
  
"We are just humor them," chuckled Doug.  
  
Mark holds up their hands and points to the ring. "We're engaged that's how we are." Everyone stops what they're doing and looks at Mark and Susan. Carol smiles. OH my gosh, you guys! Congratulations! That's so wonderful." Carol walks over and hugs Mark and Susan together. Doug walks over too, "Oh hell, let's make it a group hug, Congratulations you guys! We're happy for you."  
  
Weaver walks in and notices their big group hug, "Everything alright she asks?"  
  
"Mark and Susan got engaged Kerry," says Carol.  
  
"Oh that's great news. Congratulations. Now get back to work. We've got patients to attend to," she says sort of dully.  
  
Doug chuckles. "She seemed thrilled as usual. Well I do have a few patients to take care of, but Carol and I want you to know that, (mocks Kerry) it's great news, Congratulations. No, we really ARE happy for you guys and anything we can do to help with the wedding just..  
  
"Actually," interrupts Susan, "there is something you can do for our wedding."  
  
"Sure what is it," asks Doug?  
  
"Will you two be our best man and maid of honor?"  
  
Carol smiles, "We'd be honored."  
  
"Yes we would," remarks Doug, "besides it'll give us practice walking down the aisle together," he winks.  
  
Carol smiles and bites her lower lips and just kind of shrugs it off. "Whatever you say Doug."  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	5. Making A Vow

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own any of these characters. This is just fiction.  
  
Summary: My outtake on what should have happened if Susan would never have left.  
  
Last time on ER. "Susan, I love you. I loved you for a very long time. You're my soul mate. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?"  
  
"And how is County's best couple today," asks Doug?  
  
"I thought we were County's best couple," whispered Carol.  
  
"We are just humor them," chuckled Doug.  
  
Mark holds up their hands and points to the ring. "We're engaged that's how we are." Everyone stops what they're doing and looks at Mark and Susan. Carol smiles. OH my gosh, you guys! Congratulations! That's so wonderful "Will you two be our best man and maid of honor?"  
  
Carol smiles, "We'd be honored."  
  
"Yes we would," remarks Doug, "besides it'll give us practice walking down the aisle together," he winks. 5 months have gone by. 5 months filled with many, many wedding plans. And alas the day has arrived. Susan is getting dressed in her bridal room and Carol is helping her. "Oh my goodness Carol, can you believe this day is here? I'm so nervous. I can't believe it. My dream has come true, I'm marrying Mark today," exclaims Susan!!  
  
Carol hugs Susan. "You make a beautiful bride. I am so happy that this day has come. I always hoped one day I'd see the day when you and Mark got married."  
  
There's a rap at the door. "Come in, unless your Mark," says Susan. The door opens. It's Doug. 'They'll be ready to start in five minutes. We need to get ready."  
  
They all line up in the back of the church. Music begins to softly play. Mark turns and faces the back of the church. Doug, the best man escorts Carol, the maid of honor. Followed by Benton and Haleh and Carter and Chuni. Followed by Rachel, the flower girl and Joey the ringbearer who is a friend of Susan. Then, here comes the bride begins to play. Susan slowly makes her way down the aisle towards Mark escorted by her father. Familiar faces are around. Jen, Chloe, little Susie, Kerry, Anspaugh, Morgenstern, Jeanine, Lydia, Connie, Jerry, Randi, and many more of their family and friends. Susan's father lifts her veil and then hands her over to Mark. He takes her hand and they face each other. The pastor begins.  
  
"We are gathered here together to unite in holy matrimony two soul mates, Mark Greene and Susan Lewis. If anyone feels that these two should not be joined together speak now or forever hold your peace. Very well. Who gives this woman to this man?"  
  
"Her mother and I do," says her father.  
  
"Susan and Mark have chosen to write their own vowels. We'll begin with Mark."  
  
With tears in his eyes, Mark begins. "Susan, we've been together for a long time now. Best friends for even longer. But now, in the presence of our family, friends, and each other I solemnly vow to love you, cherish you, I will take care of you when your sick, enjoy the fun times, work through the hard times. You are my soul mate. I love you so much. I love being with you. You're my destiny, my Valentine, I love you Susan. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. I can't wait for it to begin." Mark, who is crying, wipes his eyes with the back of his hand.  
  
Susan begins, "Mark, I love you so very much. Your everything to me. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I had gotten on that train and went to Phoenix. We wouldn't have this amazing, special relationship. But it's not the what if's that are important. It's the what is. And that what is is that we're together and today we begin the marriage portion of our relationship. And I am so looking forward to all the memories this will hold for us. I promise to stick by your side through all seasons of life. The good and the bad. I will never leave you. I love you. And I'm so thankful and honored to be your wife. I love you."  
  
"May I have the rings please?" Joey hands the minister the rings. "Mark take the ring and place it on her finger and repeat after me. With this ring."  
  
"With this ring."  
  
"As a token and sign of my love to you."  
  
"As a token and sign of my love to you."  
  
"I thee wed."  
  
"I thee wed."  
  
"Now Abby take the ring and place it on Mark's finger and repeat after me. With this ring."  
  
"With this ring."  
  
"As a token and sign of my love to you."  
  
"As a token and sign of my love to you."  
  
"I thee wed."  
  
"I thee wed."  
  
"I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Mark Greene. You may kiss your bride."  
  
Mark and Susan embrace in a beautiful kiss. They waltz down the aisle arm in arm and proceed to take pictures followed by the reception. At the reception there is lots of food, dancing and fun.  
  
Then Doug stands up and says, "As the best man it is my civic duty to give a speech. Mark, you're my best friend. We've been through so much together. And I am so glad that you have found happiness and love in your other best friend Susan. From this day forward may your love stay strong. I am so thrilled to be a part of this special day. Congratulations, to two of my best friends. I love you both and you are what has inspired me to do what I am to do now. Not to take the focus off your day but I couldn't think of a better moment than right now. Carol, please join me." Carol joins Doug and stands by his side. Doug grabs her hands and reaches into his pocket. "Carol, through the years we've always been there for each other in some form. We've been just friends and lovers and even the times when we didn't speak much at all. But this I know. You're my life, my soul my best friend and my love. I believe we were put on this earth to be together. You're my destiny. I love you. Will you do me the honor of being my wife? Carol, will you marry me?"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.. 


End file.
